Thinking of Kai

I recently had a discussion with an old Mentor perhaps my first strong Christian Man in my life. He was the type who in 7th grade awkwardly brought up the discussion of purity even though at the time didn't want to hear any of it, but in hindsight see it as a huge blessing. In Jr. High I recall being challenged by God to truly seek him him in a way that called out the question, "What does it take to be a Man of God?" I haven't been able to figure out why God has put such amazing men of God in my life who have personally challenged me when I needed the challenge the most. These men include: my dad, brother, Rod Ristow, Don Hargis, Nathan Morales, David Rutherford, Cameron Unruh, and Dave Smith. Now there are many more that I'm sure I'm not immediately thinking of but have to this point can't imagine better men to have been challenged by. In talking with my old mentor Rod, who I hadn't talked to in years, he mentioned taking his son through raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis a book that even challenges father's to take their sons through a rite of passage as they are taught what it takes to be a man. I was amused that he shared that since it is easily one of my favorite books and had read it about 3 years ago in trying to continue to answer the question of what God wants from me as a man in marriage and then one day in fatherhood.

I've come to the point where I realize that no Dad is perfect and we all have faults and that at times our kids will pick up some or even can become the greatest critique on our walk with God because there is no hiding from the watchful eyes of a child. I find myself everyday sneaking into Kai's room and praying for this son, I haven't even held yet, that he would passionately seek God in a way that he wouldn't rely on his parents faith. I also pray that the men and women who pour into Kai in his walk with God, who may be teens right now as we speak, would passionately teach him God's truth. I love Kai and sometimes find myself just so excited I literally start jumping up and down. I love my wife and now our son Kai is a product of that Love, I thank God that he has given us this gift. I feel that I am slowly grasping what parents talk about when they say that when you have a child you understand God in a whole new way, since we are his Children. I want to be a Man of God that Kai can look to and never second guess where my heart is, and I pray he'll be that man too!

-Dad “The glory of sons is their fathers.” (Proverbs 17:6)